Shine, make them wonder what you got.
Unscripted, no edits.

Honestly, sometimes I wish I didn’t choose Stern.

It’s one of those days when I start my day at 6:45am, have class from 8am-12:15pm, have a meeting during “Common Hour,” then more prep work for a business club I’m part of. After that, I’ve got to dash back to my dorm to suit up, come back for another class, then network from 5-7:30pm. But wait. I’m not done with my day yet. Another group meeting for OrgComm from 8-10pm. Somewhere between all this madness I’ll manage to eat lunch and dinner.

Okay. So time spent actually doing stuff during the day: 8am-10pm. That’s 14 hours. And unfortunately today isn’t a one time occurrence. It happens quite frequently, substituting different classes, different activities, and different suits.

I don’t know if this is ordinary for students at other universities, but I really didn’t imagine this type of college experience. When I submitted my letter of intent to NYU, I seriously underestimated how much work Stern would be. I never imagined that I would feel tired all the time, just trying to keep up with all the work. 

I guess I’m just tired, but I’ll manage. That’s Stern for you: no matter how much work they through at you, you get through all of it, and keep going. 

You start to realize after a while no matter how much you do for people, they don’t seem to get it. They don’t see the sacrifices you made to do what you do. All the time, effort, strained relationships with others, and putting up with their shit.

I thought for a long time that you get what you put in. I was wrong. You don’t get shit what you deserve based on what you put in. It’s luck of the draw, and usually you’re unlucky. 

I suppose once in a while I like to slip into a nice little bubble of mine where people don’t let you down, people you care about actually stick around, and they don’t pull stupid shit. For the other 99% of the time, defenses up. Believe nothing, trust no one.

I seem to have overstayed my visit to the nice bubble. Back to reality.

I think I’ve met my sick days quota for 2012 already.

Lessons learned: 

1. Make an effort for those who matter.

2. Success only gets you so far. The rest is about your friends, family, and relationship with God.

3. Meeting new people is almost never a bad thing.

4. I’ve got the rest of my life to work, no need to overwork now.

5. Friendship takes effort.

6. Don’t take people for granted. They might leave.

So. New year. New goals. New outlook. 

I wanna live 2012 with no regrets, no more “darn I should have done x instead of y.” I want to stop wasting my time with things that really shouldn’t matter all that much and start caring about people instead of material success. Make an effort to actually talk to friends from home. Spend more time with family. Make some new friends, and keep in contact with those studying abroad. Explore more, go on adventures. Live life.

So here’s to the new year. Let’s do 2012 right. 

Take these broken streets
Take these broken dreams
Hold my hand like we were walking free
Tell me it will change 
I see it in your face
The hope the fear the love the faith